Are You Ending a Relationship - Why is Breaking Up Hard To Do

Posted by Christopher on 15 February 2009

Is this the kind of to do list you make?

1    Take the dog for a walk
2    Take care of house plants
3    Time to break up with the better half

This is not necessarily what I would call a normal list but hey, when the relationship has gone bad someone has to bring it to an end. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.

Some break ups can get wildly out of hand and down right violent while others just take their sweet time dwindling away until someone says, that’s enough.

What is the best way to end a relationship so no one gets hurt?

You will want to know why the romance has ended. The reason you think the good times have ended may not be exactly what you’ve been thinking all this time. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.

This may sound ridiculous but attempt to get together at a convenient time for this break up. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.

Always be in a compassionate mood for a break up. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.

The last thing you want to do is put the other person in a defensive mood. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.

Try not to take anything that is said in a negative way while ending this relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.

Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

Never let the other person give you a guilt complex. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Is there a chance you would think about getting back together with your ex? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

This you can decide at a later date. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

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